Tips for young, male adults in hospital

If you are a young male adult in an emergency room, then there is a good chance you're an idiot.

If you are a young male adult in an emergency room on a friday or saturday night, then you're most definitely likely to be an idiot.

But there are a few rules that young males can follow to make their stay easier:

1. Don't chat up the nurses, you are most likely drunk, or sick, and definitely not looking your best
2. Never grope, grab, fondle or otherwise get too close to a nurse as we can and will add an extra medication that totally kills your sex drive.
3. Do not invite your girlfriend to join you in bed for a quick romp, as this is gross and it is offensive to the other patients in the room.
4. Don't bother saying you are afraid of needles. Your body is covered in tattoos in some of the most sensitive areas, and besides, no one likes injections, so get over it.
5. Never threaten, or use bad language We will take you to court.
6. Act like a normal human being for once in your life and be nice. Being nice makes it easier for everyone, especially you.