keep your clothes on

She was every man's worst nightmare, at least to work with. She was eighteen years old with wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, a perfect figure, but worst of all, she knew she was a knockout and knew how to use it.

I gotta say something, I can't keep looking at the ceiling. Hell, the low seating sure doesn't help. I'll have to say something. Not sure if it's appropriate, but it's making me uncomfortable.

"Chloe, this is getting ridiculous, please cover yourself" I demanded.

"Why sir? What on earth is wrong" Chloe flicked her hair and beamed a smile at me.

"It seems you've never learned to dress yourself properly. Your blouse is half undone, the top half that is, and everyone can see your chest" I explained.

Chloe made no effort to cover herself "It's awfully hot sir, just getting some fresh air" Chloe's smile was definitely looking predatory.

"Chloe, do I have to call your father and tell him you can't dress properly? I'm sure your assets work well with the rest of mankind, but in my health center you're going to dress properly." Chloe still didn't make an effort to do up her top.

It was time to cruel. Cruel to be kind that is. "And besides Chloe, as a nurse I've seen more breasts than you can imagine, and much more memorable ones."

Chloe quickly buttoned her top up.

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Nurses... we're our own worst enemy

"Hey doc, could you prescribe me some fluids please" I asked, the bag of intravenous fluids already in my hands. "What's up with this one?" asked Dr Munro. "Twenty year old male, intoxicated, conscious, obnoxious" I replied. Dr Munro began to write up a bag of IV fluids for my patient.

"What do you think you're doing?" protested Sue. Unfortunately I hadn't noticed her presence and she had taken another opportunity to go on the offensive. Sue was the nurse in charge of the 'Major' injury department of the emergency room. It didn't matter to her that I was in the 'Minor' injuries department. I thought that I wouldn't have to see her this shift, but she seemed to be stalking me. I shrugged my shoulders, "Just being organised" I replied calmly.

Dr Munro was startled as Sue grabbed the chart from under his nose. "The doctor hasn't even seen your patient yet, give him a chance to do some work. Your patient will have to wait to be seen" Sue said. "Ah, I realise Dr Munro is busy, that's why I'm making things a bit easier for him. It'll be at least another hour, probably two, until he sees my patient, and if I get him sobered up and cleaned up now, then he'll be ready to go home instead of having to wait another hour or two" I explained. I wasn't trying to justify my acitons to Sue, I was trying to make an effort to be polite. I might as well have held my tongue.

"That is not how we do things here" Sue began. I cut her off, "Well maybe you want to tell Dr Munro that, he was happy to do it. In fact this is the way we've been working all night. Perhaps you should ask him if I'm making his job harder" I glanced at Dr Munro who was trying to shrink into his seat. Sue's mouth opened, about to spout out another protest, but I cut her off again "Sue, you saw how busy we were at the start of the shift, no beds free and an overflowing waiting room, and Dr Munro and I have cleared the place out. Just what is your problem Sue?" I realised a little too late that my voice had risen by an octave or two. Sue's face turned red and she stormed out of my department back to her own.

I started the fluids on my patient and had him discharged in two hours. There was no 'Thank you" from Sue, but Dr Munro promised to buy me a round or two for saving his ass that night.

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The Conflict

"Don't forget to note down any problems with the new health log" Cherie said enthusiastically "The computer guys want our input and are happy to make changes" Cherie waltzed out the room, her orders delivered. I turned back to the monitor, my brow creased in concentration. We had four hundred students at our boarding school and we still had three hundred and ninety still to put on the computer system.

The new computer record keeping system for the health center was good, but my fingers kept on tripping over the keyboard as I silently cursed the Americans. The problem was that when inputting patient entries for current events eg Simon has a headache, given paracetamol, the system accepted the regular system of date eg day, month, year. But when I went to put in the patients previous health information to update their overall health information eg vaccination records, it accepted the American date system ie month, day, then year.

I did as Cherie had instructed and noted the small fault with the system, feeling secure in the knowledge that my fumbling was serving a purpose, that is, to make the system better. Little did I know that a storm was brewing.

The next fault I spotted was when inputting the patients height and weight there was no place to put a date, an easy mistake to make and one easily rectified. I noted the glitch and got back to work.

"How's it going" without knocking Cherie barged into the room and stood over my shoulder, reading the information on my monitor. "Ah, fine Cherie" I stammered, "Taking a bit longer than I should, but slowly getting there" I swung round in my chair, coming face to breast with Cherie. A shudder passed through me and I looked up, our eyes making contact. "Why is it taking so long? I'm racing through them. Once you get going, it's quite easy" she sounded sympathetically disbelieving, but her eyes said 'You useless bastard'. "Well I have a couple of small things to improve upon" I suggested. "Oh, really, the system seems pretty fine to me. What's the matter?"

"Well, it's not really a big deal, but the system uses two different date systems. One part uses Amercian and the other uses the normal way" I then demonstrated on the computer exactly what I was talking about. "Oh, didn't notice that. Hasn't been a problem for me. Just be careful with the date and you'll be fine." The matter of the date was now dismissed.

"What's the other matter?" she asked. I turned back to the computer, "Oh, it's nothing" I said, don't worry about it" I said reluctantly. "No, I want to hear it, anything to make the job easier" Cherie's smile never faded, her false cheer more see through than ever. "Well, it would be good to have a date next to the height and weight" I tentatively suggested. "Oh, don't worry about that. We height and weight them on admission, so the date is the same for everyone" she said. "Ah, but the ones who have a completed physical, when we transfer that data into the computer, we need to put down what date the physical was done, it's sometimes months old." The smile faded at last "Yeah, but you can just write it at the top, where it says General Condition." "But everything else has a date, so why not this. I'm only trying to make our job easier" I said. "Don't interrupt me, I haven't finished speaking" Cherie brushed back her hair with a quick backhand movement then crossed her arms in a defensive posture. "There's no point. Just write it in the top. It's not that important" With that Cherie, my colleague, not my boss, left the room.

The fun and games had just begun.

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