That extra mile

When do you want to go that extra mile for a patient? Or more accurately I should say 'why' do you go that extra mile?

It's not a big deal, in fact it can be quite small, but doing that bit extra can be as simple as forking out 50 cents for the old fella in room 1 who hasn't got money for his morning paper.

It may involve rounding up four nurses on a busy morning to help one patient to the shower who's been bed sponged for the last month.

It may be phoning up a patients neighbor to make sure their pets get fed.

The list of extra things we do is not always part of the job description, but we do them anyway. We do them because it is not just right, we do them because it feels right.

But there's one thing I've noticed about the people for whom I do the extra things.
They're not demanding. They're often old. They're really nice to the people looking after them. They appreciate what we do for them.

Their only fault is that they sometimes suffer in silence because they don't want to be a burden.

They're not rude, obnoxious, demanding, threatening or abusive.

It pays to be nice. And we appreciate your appreciation. You see, we like to go that extra mile.

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Tips for young, male adults in hospital

If you are a young male adult in an emergency room, then there is a good chance you're an idiot.

If you are a young male adult in an emergency room on a friday or saturday night, then you're most definitely likely to be an idiot.

But there are a few rules that young males can follow to make their stay easier:

1. Don't chat up the nurses, you are most likely drunk, or sick, and definitely not looking your best
2. Never grope, grab, fondle or otherwise get too close to a nurse as we can and will add an extra medication that totally kills your sex drive.
3. Do not invite your girlfriend to join you in bed for a quick romp, as this is gross and it is offensive to the other patients in the room.
4. Don't bother saying you are afraid of needles. Your body is covered in tattoos in some of the most sensitive areas, and besides, no one likes injections, so get over it.
5. Never threaten, or use bad language We will take you to court.
6. Act like a normal human being for once in your life and be nice. Being nice makes it easier for everyone, especially you.

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