Hanging out in the STD Clinic

I spent three months working at one of London's finest hospitals, asking men to drop their trousers. "It will only hurt a little" I said as I would grab hold of the shaft and prepare to insert the swab into the tip of the penis. At first I couldn't bring myself to grab hold of infected penis', even with gloves, but whenever I let the patient hold it, they would always flinch and pull away when I brought the swab near. In the end it was less embarrassing and over more quickly if I just got on with the job and done the deed.

It was never an enjoyable part of the job, although I never did ask my female colleague what she thought of having to grab men's dicks all day. I do know that she often was surprised as me when a certain member was stood out from the rest. Some were bent, hooked, multi-coloured. Then there was the size. I never thought someone would actually have a one inch penis, but I did meet such a man. He wouldn't let me near him with the swab when he saw that the tip was twice the width of his urethra. Then there are the big ones. It is true, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, but men of a certain darker skin tone do have bigger members. In fact some of them looked almost debilitatingly big. I swear the blood required to get some of those giants up must have drained a good pint of blood from the rest of his body. I'm talking about knee length with the width to got with it.

Thankfully the job had other interesting things to distract me, such as learning how to do the microscopy work to identify certain infections, namely gonorrhea. Quite often a microscopic exam was not really needed, even though we still did one. When the patient would go to give a urine sample and pee pus and blood, it sort of spoke for itself.

It's been quite a few years since I was in the STD clinic, but I'm sure I'll remember some more interesting stories.