Like Mother like Daughter

I am occasionally guilty of making the situation worse. But sometimes it's worth it. My good friend and colleague Michelle had put up with some horrific language from a sixteen year old girl. This wasn't unusual in itself, but the girls mother was sitting by the bedside the whole time while her daughter told Michelle to "F!@king hurry up," "F@!k off" or "Get the f@!k away from me." Michelle eventually decided that she had had enough. "Can you take her blood test" Michelle practically begged me, "I can't handle her that snarly piece of trash anymore." I was in the mood for mischief "Gladly" I replied.

What a surprise, the girl is refusing the blood test, so I tried to reason with her. "Sometimes you have to put up with a little bit of pain, for the greater good" I said. The girl never had a chance to reply because mum interrupted. "What did you just say?" she asked me. My mind briefly went blank, trying to think how exactly I had offended her. "Sometimes a little bit of pain is necessary, for the greater good" I repeated.

Mum face twisted into one of anger "I don't that's very appropriate" she told me. What the hell is she talking about. I was at a complete loss trying to figure out what I had said. "You know what I mean. About having to put up with pain." I really was at a loss trying to figure out her line of reasoning, "But blood tests do hurt" I protested, "And sometimes the tests are necessary." The woman looked furious. I could see that she was beyond reasoning, or perhaps I just wasn't communicating on her level. Maybe if I used a few more F... words she would understand, as that is the language her daughter uses.

"Who's in charge?' She asked, getting up from her bedside seat. I decided to diffuse the situation by being helping. "If you're going to lay a complaint, my name is ...." I said my name slowly, "Could you please get the spelling right as everyone gets it wrong." I then proceeded to spell out my name.

I've never seen someone so close to exploding. She had pen and paper and was writing the names of the nurses on the duty board down furiously. Stabbing her i's and slashing her t's.
Withing five minutes she was dragging her daughter out of the hospital and into a waiting taxi.
Michelle congratulated me on a job well done. My charge nurse told me that I could have been a bit more diplomatic, but gave me a thumbs up.