Judging Success

I put a lot of effort into my work today. I did wonder if it was going to be worth it. By the end of the day I found that no only was it worth it, but that I want to do more.

I gave my first official drug education talk to the school kids. I have had 'unofficial' talks with the kids about drugs, but this was in front of a class of around 16 teenagers. I'm normally nervous when I talk to groups, but today was different. In fact today went real well. I didn't have a planned speech, just some keywords to trigger memories. Some of the memories that those keywords triggered were from my days dealing with teenagers in the psychiatric unit, some triggered memories of friends that have come undone by drugs, and some memories were from the good old emergency room.

I was asked to give a presentation by the social studies teacher, because the kids had just finished a week studying drugs. At the end of the week each kid had to give a presentation about a certain drug, eg Marijuana, Heroin, Cocaine etc. They had some great facts and figures, and the teacher thought that it would be a great way to finish this module with a drugs talk by the school nurse. The teacher said I had a whole free class to say anything I wanted. I decided to use my memories to give the kids a real life picture of what drugs can do.

The kids sat and listened attentively. No one fell asleep that class. No one made jokes. There was no chatter in the back of the classroom. I've never had a more attentive audience in my life. Time became meaningless as I delved into my memories about teenagers ruined by Marijuana. The kids were horrified to find out that Marijuana wasn't harmless after-all, especially to growing teenagers. They were even more shocked to find out that the person on the street selling cocaine is probably selling more battery acid than cocaine. They were disbelieving at first when I said you can't trust anyone, even your so called friends, because no one gives a shit when it comes to making a buck or getting fix.

I was a little surprised that the kids had no idea that heroin tends to stop people breathing. They didn't know what schizophrenia's was and they all cringed in their seats when I told them about a fourteen year old boy called Jake, who could see the spiders crawling on the floor, hear the rustle of their legs on the wooden floorboards, then feel the spiders as they crawled on his skin and then sank their fangs into him.

I wasn't there to scare the kids, although some probably were, but I talked about odds, or risk factors. Like a man asking his doctor what he can do to stop himself having a heart attack, I explained that everything in life comes down to increasing the risks or decreasing the risks. In the case of a heart attack, the risk factors are diet, exercise, weight, smoking. I explained that mental health is no different. It comes down to risk factors, several of which I discussed with the kids. You may be fine, and you may be ok, or perhaps your friends, but you increase your chances of things going wrong.

Never in my life have I talked for forty minutes so easily. I was incensed. I was a man on a mission. I ended up speaking to three classes that afternoon, three forty minutes sessions. And then I began to doubt. I'm not the expert. Maybe I've gone about this the wrong way. Who I am to educate about such things? I'm not qualified.

After the doubt came the belief that I had wasted my time, as well as the students time. No one really cared. They were quiet because my stories were entertaining, that was all. Then it happened.

I was back in my office when a 16yr old boy approached. "Excuse me Mr' asked the boy, "Do you have a minute?" he asked. I nodded my head, "Come in and grab a seat" I replied. The boy came in, shut the door behind him and grabbed a seat. "Can I ask you something?" he asked, "About your talk" he added. "Sure, ask anything you want" I replied.

I won't say anymore, as what the boy told me is of no importance to no one else but myself and the student. But what is important is that my talk made a difference, at least to one person. It was the best encouragement that I could ever have received. I realized then that even if I spoke to dozens of kids in a dozen different meetings, but I only made a difference in one life, then it is all worth it. Who knows, I may have even saved a life.